Saturday, April 16, 2011

Don't answer any of the questions in this blog. The answer is Money.



why are they remaking the girl with the dragon tattoo? WHY?

It is still on the New release shelf at our dvd stores??? WHY MUST AMERICA REMAKE FOREIGN MOVIES. JUST PROMOTE THE ORIGINAL AND PROMOTE OTHER COUNTRIES' INDUSTRIES. (Money)

Here's a tip USA: Pop 'The Girl With A dragon Tattoo' into your DVD player. Now at the bottom of the screen there are words that appear in English at the same time as the characters speak. They are what we call subtitles. They allow you to watch movies from alllllll over the world AND understand what they are saying. Now in terms of the brilliantly layered plots and subtle Scandinavian nuances.....I can't help you there. Maybe just rent The Hangover.

I'm digressing.

I know that 99% of Americans won't see a foreign film. I know it needs to be remade in English.

What erks me about remaking this particular film is America will glorify the shocking violence in it. They will not capture the strong European themes about secret societies that can only exist and thrive in an immensely conservative place like Sweden. That is what the movie (and book) is about! 
Without that theme the violence will be gratuitous.
The Millennium series is stark, super stylish, icy cold and unmistakably Nordic.

Breathe Polly.

America: There are literally thousands of people in your own country writing incredible scripts. Why not read some of them (No not just the one's the Weinsteins hand you while you sip a brewski at some fat dick party).

Why not put someone like Noomi Rapace on Letterman? Why not send your big stars out to present these films (As Tarantino does....go Quentin). I KNOW the answer. I know. Money money.

But seriously: You are remaking movies that A) stand alone and garnered success through critical acclaim and B) you can't recreate style and setting and themes that are just simply NOT American.

If you are then just re imagining a great idea. Well that's lazy. It's lazy and it bores me.
You bore me.

I guess all I can do is avoid these remakes and enjoy the originals. I'm already sick of every single great American film being re-done.


And while I'm angry: You can't recapture the naive beauty and eerie isolation of 'Let The Right One In'. It's Swedish. Oh wow. You renamed it 'Let me in'. Americans must have been struggling with those 2 extra words.

Oh and The Ring allowed Naomi Watts to NEARLY give a 3 dimensional performance. Pity you lost all the quirky Japanese style.

Have you seen 'Brothers'? with Natalie Portman and Jake Gyllenhal? Mmmm try seeing Brothers...the Danish original. It's commentary on war and those it leaves behind is far more poignant when the family are faced with the harsh Danish winters.

How about Vanilla Sky with Tom Cruise and Penelope Cruz? She did the Spanish original 'Open Your Eyes' which is really good and actually makes sense.

Oh and if you really struggle with foreign films that are actually in English: America remade Death At A Funeral but they made all the cast African American because that makes sense.

Ok I'm done.

See Girl With A Dragon Tattoo. You will see what I mean. Words can't explain how that film should not be remade.

If they remake Amelie of Pan's Labyrinth. I'm out.

P.S...The last pic is not me angry...it's The Ring.xxx






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